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Disclaimer: First off... to any of you who might have found my diary, and now know what town I live in, and some of my common friends, please don't share this diary with anyone. This is my private place to vent my frustrations. If you want to read it... that's fine.. but don't go passing it around is what I mean. I don't go searching for your dirty laundry to publish throughout the world. Leave me a comment, talk to me, whatever floats your boat... but don't go home and tell people from my area... "Hey... Guess what I found!!" Please... Thank You.

2005-08-22 - 4:25 p.m.
One of those quiz thingys...

Hey... Carnegie sent me a survey thingy today... and I filled it out and returned it to some people... thought I would share here too. Obviously I changed the names over the pseudonyms that I use... and there are some amended answers that I wouldn't share with the people I emailed it to. Enjoy... a real entry to come soon... I promise. My husband is out of town, so I can be on the computer at home... yay!!

Known as: Jess
Lives in: Somewhere in KS
Born: Small town
School: 'Hick' High School
Ethnicity: European mutt
Shoe size: 7.5
Hair color: brown
Eye color: blue, green, grey, they seem to change often because they have a lot of yellow in them.
Style: am trying to grow the hair out right now� so pretty much� I hate it right now.
Fears: edges, I love heights, I hate the edge. I will avoid the edge unless there is a very sturdy railing of some sort to keep me from stupidly tripping and pitching myself over the edge. And to clarify for some of you... I am only afraid of falling... if I know I'm probably going to die. So.. bungee jumping... okay... skydiving... I would love to try it... but definitely tandem with an instructor.
SECTION 2 HAVE YOU EVER...
Cheated on someone? Yes�
Been Cheated: hm� not as far as I know.
Fallen off the bed: not since I was like five�
Broken someones heart? Unfortunately I have to say yes to this question.
Had your heart broken? Yes it broke my heart, to do what had to be done (see answer to previous question.)
Had a dream come true? Eerily yes� it happens too often for me to be comfortable with it.
Done something you regret? too many things to mention
Cheated on a test? Never felt like I needed to.
SECTION 3 CURRENTLY...
Wearing? Blue jeans, nikes, and an Old Navy T-shirt.
Listening to? My Yahoo radio station�. And currently playing is Jackson Mississippi by Kid Rock.
Located? My desk at work
Chatting with? My boss in Salina on occasion.
Looking at: my computer screen� wishing I could figure out a way to get rid of this goddamned blue background this has. (yes, I�ve tried reformatting it� and it didn�t work.)
Should REALLY be doing: I should REALLY be sorting through my mail, and getting shit taken care of.
SECTIONS 4 DO YOU...
Brush your teeth? Yes�
Drive: do I drive�? � hmm� let�s say I occasionally fly.
Drink: Not so much� on rare occasion I�ll get a little tipsy. And on the even more rare occasion I�ll get a lot drunk. Don�t think you guys have ever seen that yet. But I�ve gotten to see you� Hehehe.
Smoke: yes.. I have.
Got a pager: I have a phone, and no one calls me� why in the HELL would I need a pager?
SECTION 5 FRiENDS...
Who is your best? I don�t really have a best best friend anymore. at this point I would have to say an equal tie between Carnegie and Lisa� however our lives are soo different, I often think that maybe I bore them, because I�m so old and stuffy. And I�m not exactly free to be myself in many of our occasions.
Who do I hate? Hypocrites, stupid people, that pretty much covers it.
Who is the shyest? Hmm� no clue.
Who is the most talkative? Lexis
Who is the cutest? Hmm� I�d rather not answer. (amendment to this answer, but only for my diary, Most definitely Carnegie.)
Who laughs the most? I think we�re all laughing. At each other� at the same time.
Who have you known the longest? Cody.
Who have you known the shortest? Lisa
Who do you miss the most? Cody
Personal problems? Oh yeah. Story of my life.
Do you hang out with the opposite sex? Hell yea� I have always gotten along with guys better than girls. But mostly because I try to stay away from playing the �games� that girls play with each other. I really don�t give a shit about that crap. When I was in high school� at lunch time you would find me sitting with the guys. Not the girls. Or I was sitting outside the front door playing hacky-sack with the guys and was cutting lunch. That happened a lot too.
Do you trust your friends? completely
Are you a good friend? I hope so. I try to be. I try to say what needs to be said, rather than what they want to hear. Some people don�t necessarily see that as a good friend trait� but I think those people shouldn�t ask a question that they don�t want an honest answer to.. If you can�t trust and expect your friends to give it to you straight� go buy a mirror and quit wasting their time.
Can you keep a secret: yes� but see� I have a way to cheat around this. I have a group of anonymous friends online that I can talk about pretty much anything too� and it�s completely safe because they live in other fricking countries, or on the other side of the united states. We each have an online journal that we share with each other. So I can write about secrets there� but I am always careful to make certain that there is absolutely nothing that could make my journal be found. Such as mentioning names and then if someone googles their name� they could find my journal. I use pseudonyms. But� I CAN keep a secret. And� some of you are probably thinking� how do you KNOW they are in other countries� and not next door to you? Well I have my journal set up that I can see the different webhosts that visit my site. I can see the general locations of where people are that are reading my journal. SO� I guess if someone wanted to go to quite a bit of length� they COULD re-route their ISP to make it seem as if they live elsewhere� but I�m doubting it. And no� my husband obviously has no idea about this journal� if any of you ever mention it in his prescence� I will hurt you tremendously. DID YOU CATCH THAT CARNEGIE??? MR. �I JUST WANT A PIECE OF MEAT?� I got questioned about that last night thank you very fucking much.
SECTION 6 THE LAST PERSON YOU...
Hugged? Hmm� my husband doesn�t count. I would have to say� that I honestly don�t remember.
Kissed? Hmm� well I�ve been with barry for many years now� and I haven�t kissed anyone else since we were together. I would have to say� the last person I ever kissed before barry� was cody.
IMed? Jim, my boss in Salina.
Talked on the phone? I talked to my friend, Jo, in Eastern Kansas.
Yelled at? Taylor, this morning, when she woke me up at 6:30 in the FRICKING morning to have me sign some papers that she has had ALL FRICKING WEEKEND, and could have asked me to sign at ANY POINT THROUGHOUT THE WEEKEND PRIOR TO SIX-THIRTY IN THE FRICKING MORNING WHEN I WAS TRYING TO FRICKING SLEEP!. (can we tell I�m still a little hot about this?)
Fell in love with? Hmm� this is a question that I really shouldn�t answer. So I won�t. (amendment to this answer for my diary only, it's a person who isn't my husband... therefore that's why I won't answer.)
SECTION 7 PERSONAL...
What do you want to be when you grow up: You know� I love answering this question now that I�m in my mid-twenties� and pretty much STUCK in life. Let�s see� when I grow up I want to be an oceanographer. And honestly� this question is the type of question that you ask a third grader� are these things being circulated to third graders? Get a fricking life people!!
boyfriend/girlfriend/crush? I can�t answer this one.
What do you usually think about before you go to bed? My day, working all the goddamned time. Chloe.
How many times have you fallen deeply n love? I�m going to have to be brutally honest and say once. But it is determined on the definition of �deeply�.
Love your family? not so much.
Love your friends? Definitely more than my family.
SECTION 8 FAVORITE...
Movie: well I can�t say my favorite of all time� because I simply can�t choose. However I would have to say that my favorite movie of late would be� Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. However� I still think we need a vampiric version. I can see it now� a Master allowing five humans into the sanctuary� and guaranteeing them safe passage throughout the visit. I could go on forever about this� and I really don�t understand why I am so obsessed with this.
Song: Under Pressure by Queen
Singer: Journey, or Skid Row, or Mr. Big, or Metallica, or Meatloaf, or� (do you get the picture yet? I can�t choose.)
Actor: can�t decide� I�m very picky.
Actress: Katie Holmes, kate Beckinsale, Rachel McAdams,
Store: Express, Maurices, Horlachers (hehehe� I just had to throw that in there� cause it�s so damned funny to say. And for those that aren�t familiar it�s a jewelry store. Some poor man had the bad luck to have his last name be� horlacher which is pronounced whore-licker by the way)
Relative: my aunt j. She was so fucking pissed that I crowd surfed to Billy Idol, and didn�t take her with me. That tells you how cool she is.
Sport: to play or watch? To play is probably basketball, even though I suck at it. and to watch would have to be like something like gymnastics, or ice skating.
Ice Cream Flavor: Jamocha Almond Fudge
Fruit? Ewwww�.
Candy: Chewy Runts
Holiday: Fourth of July� cause I can wear skimpy clothes� and light things on fire.
Day of the Week: Don�t have one�
Time: bed time
Color: whichever� probably black.
Name for a Girl: bracey (bracey??? What the hell is this? Bracey? That�s the type of name you use to make fun of the kid with braces� come on Carnegie� don�t traumatize your kids from day One.) For MY answer� I would have to say� AVALEIGH
Name for a Boy: I really like the name Daxton� however there is a little shithead in 'small town' named that� and he would be stupid enough to think that he was that damned special� and he�s not. So� would have to nix the daxton, and go with DARIAN ASHER
Quote: I can�t think of anything offhand, and I don�t want to take the time to look it all up.
Like to give hugs: I am a very huggy person. And yes� I know that Lisa is reading this and thinking��the hell you say!!�� but really I am. HOWEVER�. There is always small print in every aspect of life� I do NOT like to feel like I am invading someone�s personal space. I do not ever know if it is just �okay� to give someone a hug (well� I know that I am always okay with one of my friends, however he is a long ways away.) And� I would feel like I should ask before I just do it. I feel like� if you have to ask if you can hug them� you probably shouldn�t be. So� I just don�t.
Like to give kisses: yes� but it depends on who I�m a kissin�� (a word of advice to all the youngin�s out here� don�t get married until you feel like you�re done kissing all the people you want to be a kissin�.)
Like to walk in the rain: yes� the last time I actually strolled in the rain� I was in San Fran, walking in the Golden Gate Park through the gardens. It was beautiful, and I would give anything to be able to get in my car and drive to an airport, and go back. There is something about San Francisco� that I just long for. The big factor would be the ocean� just like the moon moves the tides� the tides try to pull me closer. (and obviously� I haven�t gotten very damned far.)
Prefer black or blue jeans? blue
Like to travel? Yes sir� Flying is magnificient fun� but not when you�ve got a severe case of mononucleosis, and are miserable. Went right into the hospital after I got home from that one.
Think you're attractive? I used to be� but not anymore.
Have a goldfish? No� things die in my possession. If I could have it at my desk at work, it would have a better survival chance, but then I wouldn�t get any work done either� I�d just be staring at my fishies all day.
Ever have the falling dream? No� however� I used to have a re-occuring dream when I was a kid that I was stuck in like a bar code. That I kept moving from the white space to the black space, and it would flex and squeeze me, and I would have to fight to get back to the white space. Yes� severe therapy is what I need� I already know this�
Have stuffed animals? Yes� I have some. They sit on top of some shelves in my bedroom.
SECTION 10 WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT...
Abortion: I have a very odd position on this� I find abortion to be wrong� in all counts. However I believe that every person should have the right to make their own choices. I believe that every person should have the right to choose their own path. I know ahead of time that I will more than likely not agree or approve of their path, however� who the HELL am I to try and tell someone what they should do with their life? I don�t feel like we have the right to say� YOU SHOULD DO THIS� OR YOU SHOULDN�T DO THIS� Now� personally I would hope that every woman would consider the option to carry to term, and go through with an adoption to a loving family that can�t conceive. However� yet again� we are all human and equal and no on really has the right to tell anyone else how to live their lives... not even the government. It's our own stupidity that we allow the government to do so. So... my position on abortion is odd... because I would classify myself as both Pro-Choice, and Pro-Life. I do undersand that there are life threatening situations. I mostly believe that it's a personal decision. I might not like your decision... but that's my problem, and be rest assured that I won't get into your face about it. I'm not that full of myself.
Smoking? I don�t really care. Definitely not around children. And it should always be outside, unless you in like a fricking wind tunnel.
Eating Disorders: I think that people should eat when they are hungry. And stop eating when they are full. The downside to that is when a person is so stressed out and they have no appetite whatsoever� then they have to force themselves to eat� which makes food very undesirable.
Suicide: it is a serious thing. It happens� and I understand why and how it happens.
Summer: Uggh� I can�t take off enough clothes in order to stay cool� therefore I would rather go with winter. I�m not going to get ticketed for wearing too many clothes.
Tattoos: I have one, and am considering one more� however� I haven�t found anything that truly defines me enough yet� that I would be willing to put on my body.
Piercing: ears� possibly a belly ring. If I had that flat belly� I would have one probably� I think they can be very sexy.
.SECTION 11 THIS OR THAT...
Pierced nose or tongue? Neither�although if my guy wanted to pierce his tongue� that would be fine with me� however he can�t wear the damned thing in public.
Single or taken? both is good, but taken (agree with Carnegie)
MTV or Fuse? mtv
Tots or Fries? fries..dons curly fries are great (Wait until you have to cut about 110 orders worth of those fries every single fricking day! ) I am a tator tots person myself.
Sugar or salt? Well� it depends on what kind of margarita I�m drinking.. as to what I�m gonna line my glass with.
Silver or gold? Silver, or white gold.
Chocolate or flowers? Always flowers.
Color or Black-and-white photos? preferably color but b and w can be cool
Stay up late or sleep in? yea, they go good together
Hot or cold? Cold� I think I�ve covered this one before�. I�m not going to get taken to jail for layering my shirts� I would get taken to jail for going without a shirt.
Sun or moon? Moonlight�
Left or Right? Depends on what I�m doing. Am slightly ambidextrious
10 Acquaintances or one best friend? One best friend.

Spring or Fall? Both� spring because of the rain, fall because of the leaves�
Happy or Sad? Happy why would anyone choose sad on this question? Asinine�. Is what this is.

McDonald's or Burger King? mcdonalds

Mexican or Italian food? mexican
Lights on or off? Well� what am I doing? And then I�ll answer the question.
Candy or soda? Dr Pepper� and chewy runts. And you know� when I was in high school� the answer to this question was Mt Dew and a Reese�s Peanut Butter Cups� I wonder what it�ll be in another ten years?

0 Gimme your thoughts!

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