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Disclaimer: First off... to any of you who might have found my diary, and now know what town I live in, and some of my common friends, please don't share this diary with anyone. This is my private place to vent my frustrations. If you want to read it... that's fine.. but don't go passing it around is what I mean. I don't go searching for your dirty laundry to publish throughout the world. Leave me a comment, talk to me, whatever floats your boat... but don't go home and tell people from my area... "Hey... Guess what I found!!" Please... Thank You.

2005-05-20 - 9:36 a.m.
survey

LAYER ONE

Name: Jess
Birthdate: March 9, 1981
Birthplace: Small town Western Kansas
Current Location: A close but different Small town Western Kansas
Eye Color: Blue, Green, Grey, Blue-green. (My eyes have a quite a bit of yellow specks in them, and that makes them seem to be different colors quite a bit depending on what I�m wearing.)
Hair Color: Brown with reddish tints to it.
Righty or Lefty: Righty, for most things left with others.
Sun Sign: Pisces
Innie or Outtie: Innie

LAYER TWO

Your heritage: American, but if you go up the family tree you�ll find ancestors who left England because the crown was greedy with their taxes, and Germans who came to America for reasons I�m not quite sure of.
The shoes you wore today: Dark Blue Nikes
Your hair: (Call me an idiot, but haven�t we had this question already?) Very Short, dark brown. And when I say very short, I mean boyish very short. Someday when I manage to get a digital camera, I will post some pic�s.
Your eyes: I usually wear my glasses because my contacts and my computer screen that I sit in front of all day fight with each other. However when I wear my contacts I have people (women even) telling me what beautiful eyes I have. Personally I don�t see it� hehe.
Your weakness: My desire to have a little one� it�s making me do crazy things.
Your fears: Ending up like my mother.
Your perfect pizza: Ham and Pepperoni on thin crust, then dipped in ranch.
One thing you�d like to achieve: Having a little one.

LAYER THREE

Your most overused phrase on IM: I would have to say� NP, which is �no problem�. However when I�m mostly IMing it�s at work and I communicate with my direct supervisor who lives in Salina (which is a few hours away from me). So he�s usually asking me to do things� and I say, No Problem.
Your first waking thoughts: I�m getting really tired of sticking this damn thermometer in my mouth every morning at the same time.
The first feature you notice in the opposite sex: Hmm� I would have to say the whole upper body� from the ribs up. Hair, eyes, mouth, shoulders� the whole package.
Your best physical feature: If it�s up to me� I will say my hands. I have very long slender fingers. They are the most (and maybe only) graceful part of my body.
Your bedtime: Usually between eleven and midnight.
Your greatest fear: Getting pregnant with a little one, and then losing it.
Your greatest accomplishment: So far, not ending up in the vicious cycle that the rest of my family seems to be stuck in.
Your most missed memory: My grandmother.

LAYER FOUR

Pepsi or Coke: Dr. Pepper
McDonalds or Burger King: Not a fan of McDonalds, but I absolutely abhor Burger King� and that damn plastic king that is all over the telly isn�t helpful either. It�s creepy.
Single or group dates: I�m married.
Adidas or Nike: Nikes
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Neither.
Chocolate or vanilla: Uggh� not really either, but I�m communist and don�t like a lot of sweets.
Cappuccino or coffee: Cappuccino, preferably iced.

LAYER FIVE

Smoke: Used to. And still on occasion, however it�s rare.
Cuss: Yessir.
Sing: Only with the radio, and rarely with anyone else around.
Take a shower everyday: Yes� in the mornings even.
Have a crush(es): Crush� is so juvenile. I would say that desire would be a better word. I have desires� doesn�t everyone?
Who are they: Well� the obvious answer would be my husband� the question for you is� am I taking the obvious route?
Do you think you�ve been in love: I know that with a great certainty.
Want to go to college: I would like to go� it�s just not feasible.
Like high school: High school was fun. I wish I could go back and do it all again� I know now that I could have had sooo much MORE fun.
Want to get married: Am married.
Believe in yourself: I am learning to. Haven�t been so great at it lately.
Type with your fingers on the right keys: yes� and I don�t even look at my fingers either.
Think you�re attractive: Not really.
Think you�re a health freak: Health freak�?? Hm� no.
Get along with your parents: My parents and I are as close as strangers who say hi to each other on the street, just because it�s the polite thing to do.
Play an instrument: At one point in time I played piano. I dearly miss it. I have forgotten most of it� but it was very relaxing for me.

LAYER SIX: In the past month, did you:

Drink alcohol: hehee� yes.
Smoke: Yes.
Do a drug: Illegal? No.
Make Out: yes
Go on a date: yes
Eat an entire box of Oreos: Ewww� no.
Eat sushi: no� never had it. Don�t think I could actually get it into my mouth. My brain knows what it is.
Been on stage: Not since junior high.
Been dumped: Yes� only once though. Oh hell� wait a minute� this is the in the past month category� NO.. I haven�t been.
Gone skating: No.
Made homemade cookies: No� I�ve eaten cookie dough� does that count? I sure as hell didn�t bake the cookies though. I did have a cookie that was heated up in the oven where I work� however it originally came out of a package, so I�m sure that doesn�t count either.
Been in love: In the last month? Yeah�
Gone skinny dipping: No! I wish!
Dyed your hair: Seriously thought about it� but decided to chop it all off instead.
Stolen anything: No.

LAYER SEVEN: Have you ever:

Played a game that required removal of clothing: No� I�ve led a sheltered life.
If so, was it mixed company:
Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Yes. Oh god yes. Not very often, have I actually been� TRASHED� but it�s happened.
Been caught doing �something�: Nope, well not unless you go back ten, twelve years and go to the �pool incident.�
Been called a tease: Nope� I was always one of the guys, not one of the pretty girls, so no one ever looked at me that way. (not that I know of anyways.)
Gotten beaten up: Nope� I�ve always held my own. In my younger days a person could almost say that I was a bully.
Shoplifted: Yeah.
If so, did you get caught: No.
Changed who you were to fit in: I call it �highschool�.

LAYER EIGHT

Age you hope to be married: I am married dammit� how many times we gonna repeat the question?
Numbers and Names of Children: I have no actual children of my own. However I will share the names that I could want to name them� Boy could be Marcus Asher, and Girl could be Ava Leigh.
Describe your Dream Wedding: I could describe it� but I didn�t get it, and I won�t� so I�d rather not.
How do you want to die: Nothing bloody� I can�t handle the sight of blood. I don�t want to suffer too much� I would say that I want to just go to sleep and not wake up. Massive amounts of sleeping pills could accomplish this.
Where you want to go to college:
What do you want to be when you grow up: hmm� a little late for that, but I would say accountant or an oceanographer.
What country would you most like to visit: Venezula

LAYER NINE

Number of guys I have kissed: Oh wow� let me think I think I can actually come up with a number (and how pathetic is that?)� 14� I think. I could even name them all� cept for one that I don�t remember his name, and I specifically remember I wasn�t too sure of it at the time either. But hey� it was new years� we found ourselves in a closet madly making out, until the church group people came looking for us. Hehe�
Number of boyfriends you�ve had: well I�ll disregard the junior high crap� and say six up until my husband, and he�s not included in that number.
Number of drugs taken illegally: Define illegal drug� a perfectly legal prescription drug can become illegal if taken improperly.. not that I would ever do anything like that� but I have never taken any actual illegal drugs� don�t need to.
Number of people I could trust with my life: two.
Number of CDs that I own: hell I don�t know.
Number of piercings: Used to have two holes in each ear� but haven�t wore earrings in years� don�t know if they�re still open or not.
Number of tattoos: 1
Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: no clue. Probably more often than I would guess.
Number of scars on my body: I have quite a few on my feet where I dropped two glass pepsi bottles on a cement floor when I was just a little kiddo. I have a scar just underneath my kneecap from a midnight game of hide and seek that involved a lot of running, bottle rockets, and dressed all in black with our faces painted black also. That scar actually needed stitches, but I�m a puss and it was close to one in the morning and my grandma wasn't able to drive at the time, and the hospital was too far away to walk.
Number of things in my past that I regret: I have regrets.

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