Disclaimer: First off... to any of you who might have found my diary, and now know what town I live in, and some of my common friends, please don't share this diary with anyone. This is my private place to vent my frustrations. If you want to read it... that's fine.. but don't go passing it around is what I mean. I don't go searching for your dirty laundry to publish throughout the world. Leave me a comment, talk to me, whatever floats your boat... but don't go home and tell people from my area... "Hey... Guess what I found!!" Please... Thank You.
2007-01-14 - 12:45 a.m.
This too shall pass...
Well... I know it's been forever since I've updated... and for that I'm sorry. As usual I'm only updating when things are wrong again. Hunter and I are taking a break. He just up and decided that he wants to be alone... and i'm giving him the time that he needs. I don't know that this is necessarily wrong.. it's been good for me also. But I guess I'm plagued with doubt that I'll ever hear from him again. I don't know... I figure I'll give him some time... and if I haven't heard from him in several weeks or a month... I'm moving on. I don't want to. I love him... I couldn't help but love him. He says that it's not me, and that I've done nothing wrong. But I think he just doesn't want to hurt me. He says that I'm good for him and that I've been wonderful... but that he needs time alone to be able to appreciate me again. Okay... so I'm giving him time. Am I an idiot for this? You tell me...
I've moved out of my house... and moved in with my grandparents. I'm so fricking broke I needed to do something to try and get caught up... even ahead eventually. It will help having no housing responsibilities for a while. My grandmother is driving me absolutely insane though. I don't spend very much time there. Am currently trying to find a second job to try and make more money... and also spend less time at the house. Thursday... she went on and on about how my father never wanted me... and didn't want custody of me. Wanted nothing to do with me. Understand my father and I have a VERY unstable rocky relationship to begin with... I REALLY don't need to hear this shit from her. So I spend as much time as possible downstairs and out of her way. If I'm downstairs she doesn't come down and bug me. The only thing is... downstairs is a unfinished concrete basement that has absolutely no heat. I have a little spaceheater down there that I use... but right now it is SO FUCKING COLD OUTSIDE. Literally 2 degrees outside. I'm not even going to attempt to sleep down there until the temperature is a little bit higher. I don't want to start a fire with the spaceheater trying to run it so much to try and get that space warm. Ya' know?
In other news... those of you that may have occasionally checked out my myspace page might have noticed that I gutted it and took it all off. That was due to drama I was getting with people... I have set up a new page that has nothing to do with my actual identity. You can't find it by searching for my name... nothing. And here it is if you still want to check it out once in a while... www.myspace.com/_ramoth
And in other news... Jordan is being a little fucker. He is pissed because I haven't been able to pay him the money that he thinks that I owe him... and he proceeded to go to the police in my old hometown and give them a statement that I supposedly contributed alcohol to him on two separate counts. So I'm being summoned to court on the 22nd to answer to two counts of contributing to a minor. I need to talk to a lawyer before I go in, because he's committing extortion against me. And I can prove it. I have saved text messages on my phone as a record of him threatening me that he'll get me in trouble if I don't pay up soon. Trouble with the talking to a lawyer bit is... I'm broke. So... who knows what's going to happen with that. But be rest assured that I will update and let you know. Well... am thinking the grandmother should be in bed by now, it should be safe to head home and go to bed. Take care all... I will try and update more often. I'm reading every few days or so... but as for updating... just not as often. Sorry about that. 0 Gimme your thoughts!
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